Who I WAS: At 39 I was 6 years sober. I had survived 25 years of complex trauma that included 15 years of being housing challenged and addicted to meth. My first trauma happened at the age of 9. I had “hid” emotionally ever since. I struggled to survive addiction and insecure housing as trauma experiences mounted. Trying to “rejoin” life during those first 6 years sober, I continued to fall into repetitive behaviors that I later learned were reactions to trauma triggers. My screams and cries would wake my husband at night. I was jumpy, burning bridges, alienating people, and always felt unsafe. I was getting nowhere fast, and I REALLY wanted that to change. I had a sense of who I could be and was meant to be, but no idea how to get there. I only knew I didn’t want to go back where I’d been, and without help, I likely would. So, I went in search of a therapist skilled in trauma and addictions to help me. I was so READY! Through work with a therapist, I was able to piece together my story, sharing parts I had told no one. Unconditional positive regard without judgement from my therapist allowed me to learn how my trauma experiences impacted the neurobiology of my brain, leading to the “fight or flight” pattern in which I was stuck. That knowledge helped me give myself compassion and grace as I struggled to “re-learn” life.

Who I AM: Now, I am happier than I ever dreamt possible, and have become the person I always knew I could be; I am not stuck and can grow and change, express and feel difficult emotions, maintain healthy relationships, and am aware of my emotional needs. I am not tormented or ensnared by reactivity and substance use. I have a thriving and diverse community of friends, peers, colleagues and family. At 45, this high school dropout started college, graduating summa cum laude with a Masters degree at age 50. I became an award-winning swim coach. Amazingly, I got to attend college alongside many of “my kids” from the swim team (they even helped me with my math homework). I’ve had the honor of officiating at their weddings, and still get to “do life” with many of them as they navigate their own struggles and successes. Today, I am most thankful for feeling safe to walk in the woods, deserving of success, happy in my 25 year marriage, and able to give back to others. I am moved and excited by stories of resilience and overcoming and am so honored when I get to support people doing their own life changing work. Today I am Thriving, just as I always knew I was Born To do.